Club Status: President

No of years at club - 14

Claim to fame - Waving his arms, calling for the (non-existent) physio when injured.

Nicknames - Whitey, Maz, Vicar off Dick Emery

Favourite sayings - "I've got my own business"; "Grant, Grant, GRANT!!!!"

Hero - John Darby


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Whitey, friend to the stars and optical supplier to the collieries. Rarely plays these days, having been put into semi-retirement by his numerous coaching duties.

Will no doubt make an appearance or two at some stage in 2006 but since once played for the thirds & managed to not field at all & get a first baller when batting, those appearances will be naturally confined to a minimum if the skipper has any sense. However, the nature of selection problems means that Whitey will no doubt be treading water in an outfield near you soon.

Dons shorts the day the clocks go forward is is never seen out of them until the clocks go back.

The Arthur Daley-esque figure within the club, he normally tries to flog most new players something. Above he can be seen modelling his summer collection 2006, with the sunglasses atop the head and the new cricket club training tops, a simply-must-have for all Gavin Conway wannabes.